From an Anonymous Fire Warrior
by DiverkinWaterborn
Summary: 40k. A dying Fire Warrior ponders his last moments and his life. One Shot, Short, old as hell.


I am dying.

I know not how I am still alive, but I will not be much longer. My strength seeps from my body with my blood. Soon, the darkness will take me.

Is there an afterlife? The _Aun _never said. They talked of the here and now, of the Greater Good. I listened because it was the best way. Will the Greater Good find my body? Will it carry my soul away, and provide my corpse with a coffin? I wish I knew. They may never find my body here. Will they even look? There is so much I don't know.

Where is my battlesuit? My _Xar'vesa_? I ejected as the _El'dar_ tank blew away its jump pack. Did the witches take it? Does it still lie on the field somewhere? It was like a part of me. I knew its every perk, its every complaint. It seemed alive. Does it wait for me like a loyal pet? I cannot return. I loose strength.

My childhood? I don't remember it. Why should I? The Greater Good provided for me. I never knew my parents - never wanted to know. History from five years of age - the Damocules Gulf Crusade by the _Gue'la_, the struggle against the endless, gibbering maws of the _Y'he_, the theology of the Greater Good. I rose quickly - I wasn't popular, but I was reliable. The other _Shas'Ui_ trusted me, the _Shas'La_ looked up to me. What more did I want? I was serving the Greater Good with all my soul and body. I was an example to the others.

I still remember her. I didn't think much of her at first. But when we were so small, she gave me a flower, a _T'roi_. Some freak of destiny kept us together, made our relationship blossom like a _T'roi_. I wonder if her corpse is amongst the dead as well. Is she burnt by the _El'dar_ cannon, pierced by their foul blades? Is she whole or in pieces, my fair flower? I don't want to think about it. I cannot cry. Not enough strength for that. I don't think we'd even be paired together. The Greater Good does not want emotion - it wants efficiency. I believed that, once. All for one. Does the One give back to the All?

I remember my first fight. I screamed in terror as the _Be'Gel_ came in their masses and their ramshackle vehicles. I killed some of them. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Point and click. A foul foe dies for the Greater Good. So simple - like my training. Then I watched as my comrades were sawed in half by a walker that sprang from the rubble, and then I shot it. I do not know how I survived. I still do not believe my luck. The thing was piloted by the smallest, weakest _Be'Gel_ - I think they call them Grots. It had so much hate in its eyes. I watched the thing die cursing me in its tongue. Do the _Be'Gel_ have a Greater Good? They send everyone to war. No-one is left behind - not even the dregs of society. Is it out of caring or sheer war lust?

I remember my _Ta'lissera_. It was with her, my _T'roi_. She smiled at me. We never separated. We fought together, an unstoppable team. The _Gue'La_ cowered in their trenches. The _Be'Gel_ panicked and ran. We never fought the _Y'he_. Would I risk it? Loosing her to their fetid claws or their acid? Doesn't matter now. She's dead.

I see things - people - move about. They have blue scales. I wish I could talk to them. Maybe they're here to scavenge from the field. They seem so sad. We were bringing them under the wing of the Empire. The _El'dar_ wanted them to be left alone. We tried to persuade them. They wouldn't listen. Why don't people listen? War doesn't unite the stars. Those poor creatures. I wonder if they understand what happened here.

Was it a waste? My life? Raging at the foe, delivering death because I had no other purpose - was it all for nothing? Did every Pulse shot mean as much to the world as a grain of sand to a planet? I think so. It is not the most comforting thought to die upon, but what else is there? It is the truth. The _Aun_ told us different, that one grain of sand could disrupt the entire beach. I don't think it was true, but I saw the _Fio_ work on the paradise beaches on my shore leave. Perhaps they care. Is there someone who cares? Does someone count the grains of sand for us?

I do not have long left. My vision blurs. There is no pain - that left a long time ago. I hope they find my body, or put my name on a memorial. I don't want to die a no-one. A name at least, on a memorial, for the children to see on educational visits. Not nothing, not dust.

There is a light. It is not an _El'dar_ trick, is it? What is it?

...My _T'roi_?


End file.
